Men and Their Exes

Although most men, when a girlfriend finishes with them, will just continue their lives and find a new girlfriend, there are times when a man wants the old girlfriend back and if that is the case, they will have a hard job ahead of them. It is pretty well known that getting an old flame back is a lot harder than getting a new one and this is for several reasons.

First, they already know your chat up lines and so are probably immune to them and second, they already know you better than any new girl will and they have seen something about you that they didn’t like.

So first, you will have to devise a new approach and second you will have to convince your ex that you have changed whatever it is she didn’t like about you.

As far as the second part goes, it is unlikely that she will just take your word for it and so you will have to think of some way to show her you can and have changed, for the better. In many cases, as the girls often think there was a lack of romance in the relationship, suggesting a romantic candlelit dinner may help or perhaps suggesting a picnic in the country.

If she accepts one of these, as a follow up perhaps suggest a romantic weekend away where you can spend time discussing your future together. One thing that you must remember though, is if this works and you are able to win her back, if you want to keep her you will have to keep thinking romance.

There are some girls though, that finish with a man because they were taking the relationship too seriously and if that is the case, you will need to take it slow and not rush her to make a decision.

As it can be so difficult to win back an ex-girlfriend, it would be wise to be sure that you really want her back before you even try. Sometimes the feeling of loneliness you feel is just a lack of female company and so it could be easier to be solved by just finding a new girlfriend.

Obviously though, if you miss that one particular girl and feel that no other girl could adequately fill the void you feel, you will have to suck it up, apologize and be ready to work on getting her back. Consider honestly what the reason was that she finished with you and be prepared to change accordingly.

If you have decided that she is the only girl for you, you will not just want to win her back but you will also want to ensure that she remains with you for the long term.

Therefore any changes that you do make will have to considered long term changes and not changes you make just to win her back. Hopefully though, all the efforts you do make, will be worth it in the long run.

Old Girlfriends, New problems

If you think that having lost your girlfriend, you can go right back and pick her up again the same way as you did the first time, I have news for you. No girl is going to fall for the same ploy, from the same man, twice.

This means that you are going to need a whole new strategy and the task ahead of you will not be easy but, if you are sure that she is the girl for you then all efforts you make, will be worth it if you succeed.

It will be no good you begging as, even if that did get her back, by begging she would have lost all respect for you and any further relationship you hoped to share together will be doomed to failure.

The same can be if you use threats to either yourself or her, if she came back it would be through fear or pity and any further meaningful relationship would once again be doomed to failure.

Although begging or threatening may at least get her back initially, reminding her of the good times you shared may not get her back at all. Whilst she remembers the good times you mention, it may cause her to also recall some of the bad times you didn’t mention and that could put a stop to all your efforts.

What you need to do is first apologize and convince her that you are a changed man, you no longer do whatever it was you did to cause her to break up with you but, just telling her you have changed will doubtfully be enough so find a way to show her you have changed.

One of the first things you could do, before you even approach her, is go out and buy new clothes as clothes are one of the things women notice and dressing differently may help to convince her that you really have changed.

Although you shouldn’t mention the past, always mention the future and describe some of the things you have planned for the two of you if only she would take you back. If romance was missing from your first relationship, ensure it isn’t missing from your next one.

Talk of romantic dinners together and romantic weekend breaks where the two of you can stroll along a beach at sunset or walk through forests together, hand in hand. If you think that romance may be the key to a lasting relationship together, consider suggesting a weekend away in Paris, Rome or perhaps even Venice.

Those cities are alive with romance and it is hard for a girl not to feel romantic in such settings. If these are something you have never mentioned before, it will be even more proof that you have changed and changed only in order to win her back.

Although these are probably not things you would do to pick up a girl a first time, remember she is not just any girl and it is not the first time you would have picked her up.

Romancing an Ex-Girlfriend

Winning back an ex-girlfriend is hard, it is certainly often much harder than getting a new girlfriend and so before you even start trying, you should perhaps be sure that that is what you want.
When we lose a girlfriend our immediate emotion is usually sorrow but is that sorrow because you lost the most important thing in your life or is just because you no longer have a female friend.
If it is the latter then probably the best thing to do is get up and look for another. However, if it is the former you will want to get her back and get her back to stay.

Initially getting her back may not be as hard as begging could work but getting her back through begging will only get her back for a short time, not the long haul. When a man begs, it doesn’t have the same reaction in a woman as a pet begging perhaps would have.

A woman thinks when a pet begs it looks cute and she just wants to hug it all day. When a man begs though, a woman thinks it is unmanly and loses respect for that man.
Although having lost respect for the man because he was begging, she may however, through a feeling of sympathy, agree to go back to the man but the respect for him has been lost and so any relationship will be short lived. This means that if you want to win your ex back, you will have to do it without begging.

Of course though an apology for anything you may have done will be a good start and if the break up was in any way due to her wanting you to change your ways, then you will have to change your ways and it will not suffice for you to just say you have changed, you’ll have to be prepared to show that you have, something not so easily done. Women though are romantic creatures whereas men often aren’t.

If that was the case with your first relationship then being more romantic this time round could be the answer. Perhaps suggest a candlelit dinner for two or better still, getting away for romantic weekend, somewhere quiet where you can spend time together working things out.

Don’t talk about the past such as some of the good times you had shared as this also brings back memories to her of some of the bad times. Instead concentrate on talking about the future and the things you could do together, perhaps a weekend break to Paris, the romance capital of the world.

Invoke in her new dreams of what could be, allowing her to slowly forget any bad things that there could have been.

These suggestions may not be things that you would normally particularly look forward to but it is you that wants her back and so you must make the effort to win her back and besides, with her by your side, they may well enjoy yourself too.

Solving Ex Problems

One of the biggest problems men can face, is knowing how to win an ex-girlfriend back. It isn’t a problem which we face every day as often, once a break up happens; it’s over and we move on however, there are the times when we regret the break up and decide that that girl was the one for us and we need to get her back.

Sometimes we recognize this fact almost straight away but sometimes we may not realize it until after we have dated other girls and realized that something was missing. When the realization does hit us though, whether it is right away or even much later, we acknowledge that the only solution is to get that ex back.

That though is something easier said than done and your next actions will very much depend on the cause of the break up in the first place.
The two things that you definitely do not want to do though is beg or threaten. Pets look good begging but men don’t and so don’t even consider that.

Although begging has been known to work, it only works on initially getting the girl back but almost never works in getting her back to stay. Begging creates a feeling of sympathy and if the girl returns to you after you begged, it will be through sympathy only and once that sympathy has gone, so has she.

Although at these times we may feel devastated and at a loss as to how we will move on without our ex, we must not make threats in order to try and get her back, like threatening to give up our jobs so we can sit outside her house all day, waiting.

Threats may also work initially but once again, they only win the girl back through the wrong emotions and as those emotions subside, the girl is once again gone. In both of these instances, once the girl leaves that second time, you will have lost all hope of ever winning her back again.

A more subtle approach is needed and it more than likely will include an apology. If it was you that caused the break up then an apology is of course needed but even if she just thought you did something to cause the break up, apologize anyway.

If she did something to cause the break up, let her know that you forgive her and do it in such a way that she knows you will never bring up the subject again. Sometimes a girl will not return because of her own feelings of guilt and so it is important to quell any such feelings.

Romancing your way back into her heart is of course another approach that may be successful, perhaps suggest a romantic dinner so you have time to talk alone or even better, how about a romantic weekend for two in the countryside or somewhere where the two of you can stroll on a beach under the moonlight.

Winning Back an Old Flame

Break ups are often painful as even if you do not immediately feel at a loss, after time you often do. You may have tried dating other girls but it just isn’t the same and you slowly start to realize you may have lost the best thin in your life. Having realized this, you will want to win her back, but how?

First and probably most important of all, you must not go to her, get down on your knees and beg her to come back to you. When pets beg it may look cute and get results but when humans beg, especially men, it is rarely a pretty sight and even more rarely has the desired effect.

When women see a man begging, they lose respect or them and so although they may take you back, it would be only through feelings of sympathy and that sympathy will not last, leaving you in the same place as you started. What you must do is first consider the reason for the break up, was it your fault? Is it something that you did just once or was it you whole attitude?

If it was a mistake you made just once, you will have to try and convince her that you realize you made a mistake and apologize, earnestly. That alone will probably not bring her back but it is the starting point for the new relationship. If it was your whole attitude then you have work to do. It will not suffice for you to just tell you have changed, you will have find a way to show her you have changed.

If you always used to go out with the boys, give them a break and instead go out and buy some new clothes. If she is even the slightest bit interested in returning, she will notice your clothes and will have heard you don’t hang with the boys anymore.

It is perhaps important at this point to point out that, in trying to win this ex back, you have truly made up your mind that she is the girl you want because having won her back, you cannot return to your old ways if those are what caused the break up in the first place; you don’t just have to look like you have changed, you will have changed.

Romance is perhaps something that men are not so into as women but as long as women are, men must be romantic, offering candle-lit dinners, strolls along a beach or through the countryside, anything a woman finds romantic, the man must too. Remembering this, perhaps ask your ex to accompany you on a romantic weekend break.

The thought of it alone may sway her but when you add it will give you a chance to talk thins through and promise not to be pushy, it could do the trick. Be true to your word though and don’t push things, let her be the one to decide that getting back together could be the right thing to do.